


The Trial of Thomas The Tank Engine

by bibliomaniac



Category: Original Work
Genre: Courtroom Drama, Crack, Gen, and i am weak frankly, and thomas the tank engine was his favorite as a kid, anyway all that said, because he sent me something derogatory about winnie the pooh, but a number of people have asked me to over the years, not intended to be taken seriously in any wise, okay look i was never planning on posting this, this was originally just me angry-typing at my younger brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 15:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19134655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliomaniac/pseuds/bibliomaniac
Summary: In which Thomas is put on trial for the murder of Sir Topham Hatt.(it's all crack i am sorry to people who are legit fans of this show in like...2014 or something when i was in college my brother sent me a meme about christopher robin going to jail and to punish him i wrote this)





	The Trial of Thomas The Tank Engine

**Author's Note:**

> cw: brief mention of homophobia, discussion of murder and murder trials, major character death

imagine your childhood hero, the very useful engine, being led away for questioning. turns out he murdered sir topham hatt bc they were trying to give younger, more useful trains his position.

old fashioned trains just dont cut muster anymore. he knows that. he's known that for a long time. but when sir topham hatt told him he was going to take away his number one...he snapped.

it was brutal, onlookers whisper, frightened. the media had a field day.

"percy," he cries out as he is taken to detainment, "you believe i'm the most useful...right..."

percy sheds a single tear of motor oil. who to support, his lifelong mentor sir topham hatt or his best friend thomas? even he has to admit that thomas has been...different. coming back at late hours from the bar, smelling of diesel. percy could never forget the time that thomas derailed on his way home. that was a bad night. but surely...surely his best friend was still in there somewhere. he knew thomas. and the thomas he knew wasn't a cold-blooded murderer.

the island became divided. edward led the charge against thomas, while percy, who had always been shy, was forced to head up the force arguing for their dear friend.

today was the day...today was the trial. percy rolled nervously along to the courthouse. he had found every character witness--even poring through the records to find lady, the magic train and thomas' once-lover. percy couldn't help but gasp when he entered the courtroom and saw his friend. his bright blue, which had been chipping but was nonetheless iconic, had been repainted to a dull prison orange.

the number 1...the number he had worked so hard to obtain, and the number that he ended up killing for...now it was just a number on a prison jumpsuit. there were bags under his eyes, and he was beginning to grow train stubble on his train face. he looked awful.

percy sat in the audience row behind thomas and wished that he could pat his friend on the shoulder, give him some reassurance. unfortunately he did not have arms, and had to settle for repeatedly bumping into thomas. he was not sure whether his sentiment came across.

the prosecution stood and made their opening argument. "ladies and gentletrains of the jury, this train was once the most useful of them all. he was the one...he was the number one. thomas the tank engine. but behind that cheerful face lies a calculating machine. and this train killed his mentor, who he had known since like the 60's (can't be bothered to look up wikipedia article, but it was a long time)." (edit: 1947)

thomas had already plead guilty. the crux of the argument--was this a crime of passion or the crime of a psychopath? depending on what was decided, he could either receive life in train prison or...the worst sentence. decommission. taken apart for scraps.

the defense called percy to the stand. he swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. "now tell us--what is thomas the tank engine like?"

"he's not the sort of engine to do this! i know if he had been in his right mind...he never would have.......killed sir topham hatt. i just know it. he's kind, and cool, and maybe sort of an idiot, but...he has an entire franchise built around him for pete's sake! he has a tv show! the kids love him!"

the defense rested, satisfied. the prosecution rose and asked one simple question... "do you?"

"what?"

"love him."

percy gasped. "how dare you!"

"answer the question, percy. remember, you're under oath."

"i...i don't see how that's relevant. when we were invented it was illegal, anyway. i would've been beaten up just for you suggesting it!"

"answer. the. question."

"...no. i am not a homotanxual."

the prosecution simply raised an eyebrow and looked at the jury meaningfully. "i rest my case."

percy knew he had lost his credibility before the jury. nobody listens to the significant others of criminals. it didn't even matter if it was true. the damage had been done.

percy looked down, inasmuch as he could do being that he did not have a neck, and fought back the tears. don't let them see you cry, percy...don't let them see. you promised, never again...not like when they were beating you up as a small child train. you could still hear their jeers, their taunts. just because you were small, and timid, and green... he rolled mournfully off the stand and back to the seating area, whispering to thomas as he passed by, "i'm sorry. i tried."

thomas just stared dully forward, the life, so to speak as he was never really alive, gone from his eyes. did it even matter? he had killed sir topham hatt. he deserved to be decommissioned.

the testimonies continued on through the day. james protested that thomas had always been jealous of his lovely red paint--not true, but the jury ate it up. gordon pretty much just talked about himself the whole time, which was to be expected, and had to be forcefully removed when he saw the court caricaturist drawing a rather unflattering portrait of him.

there were good testimonies here and there of course--toby, good old toby, remembered all of the good times he and thomas had had together. edward, seemingly feeling bad for previously leading the charge against thomas, publicly apologized and revoked his slanderous charges. emily, probably one of his better lady pals, was complimentary. lady admitted that she hadn't seen thomas for fourteen years, but it had been good while it lasted. annie and clarabel were both inconsolable.

back and forth it went. many things were said that could not be taken back. many tears were shed. and all throughout, thomas stayed still with that same dead look in his eyes. it didn't matter how the verdict turned out. his life was over.

finally, it came time for thomas to testify.

he rolled slowly to the stand and looked out at the courtroom. there stood before him friends, enemies, fans, and everyone in between. he locked eyes with percy, who gave him an imperceptible nod--mostly imperceptible because, as previously mentioned, he had no neck with which to nod. thomas slowly realized that, despite everything, he still had friends. he still had supporters. maybe everything wasn't as hopeless as he had supposed.

he took a big breath with his nonexistent train lungs and began. "i cannot ever atone for my sins. i killed sir topham hatt. it was the worst mistake i have ever made and the worst mistake i could make. he was my friend, my mentor, my conductor...the manager of the railway i've spent all my life, ever since i was made.

i was angry, and hurt, and scared of being replaced. but that's no excuse. i cannot apologize enough to his family and to all the friends i have betrayed."

"i will accept whatever verdict is handed down. i can only hope...that if i am decommissioned, i can also plead my case and perhaps be forgiven in train heaven. (not a thing)"

the entire courtroom was quiet. even the prosecutor only shuffled his papers awkwardly. it was time to bring this trial to a close...and with it, time to decide the fate of thomas, the very useful engine.

the jury deliberation took hours. percy rolled back and forth nervously. he would have liked to talk to his friend, but they had taken him back to a temporary holding stall while the verdict was being deliberated.

would he be spared, or would he become spare parts?

finally, everyone shuffled back into the courtroom. they all rose for the honorable judge. most of them could not rise because they were trains, but they lifted their eyebrows in respect--it was the only part of them they could raise. good enough.

"ladies and gentletrains of the jury, have you reached a verdict?"

"we have, your honor."

the bailiff, who was not a train and therefore had hands to take the envelope from the jury, passed it onto the judge.

the judge however was a train and could not open it. everyone looked away out of respect. it was awkward.

after some help from the bailiff, the envelope was finally opened. the judge looked down at it and paused.

"we the people (trains) of the sodor judicial system find thomas the tank engine... guilty, of murder in the second degree."

percy let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. they had all been hoping for a charge of voluntary manslaughter, but second degree was better than first degree. it was all up to the judge to decide what punishment to dole out now.

the judge considered. "normally in this case i would give a punishment of life in prison with no chance of parole. however..." the judge pulled out a gun. nobody knows how he did this! he was a train! he did not have pockets, or hands! the point is it was really shocking for a multitude of reasons. he aimed it at thomas. "sir topham hatt...was my father, you monster!" (everybody in their panic still stopped a moment to consider the logistics. how could a human man made of wood have a train...you know what never mind.)

a shot rang out through the courtroom and the world went still.

percy rushed to the side of his best friend, who was capsized on the floor, his breathing shallow.

"percy...they...they got my boiler."

no amount of promises that percy had made himself as a child could stop him now. the tears burst forth. "no...no, thomas, we can fix this, you'll be fine..."

thomas coughed weakly and smiled bravely up at the green engine. "no, percy, i don't think so."

"thomas--i--i always believed in you, you know that, right? you were the best train i've ever known and..."

"yes, percy, i know. .......percy?"

"yes?" percy let out a few frame-racking sobs.

"percy...little engines can do............big things."

and with that, he was gone.

percy let out a wail and draped himself over the body, which really just meant he sort of ran over thomas's train corpse and stayed there. it was the best he could manage. curse the powers that had made him a train!

they restrained the judge, who kept saying, "i don't regret it. he killed my father. i don't regret anything."

everything was a blur for percy after that. he remembers being dragged off of thomas, and people asking him questions and shining a light in his eyes. "are you okay?" they asked. of course he wasn't okay. he shook all of them off.

the funeral was scheduled for a week later. percy still couldn't believe it, but the tears came back again when he saw the train-sized coffin in the scrapyard where the service was being held. looking through dull eyes, he saw that the priest was motioning him to come up in front to give the eulogy.

"he was thomas the tank engine. he rode along the way, and when you heard that whistle, it could only be one train--our favorite little engine. thomas was his name." his voice rang out clear and strong, surprising even himself.

he is...was...a really useful engine, with his heart that was big and strong. he chugga-chugga chuff-chuffs, working hard, helping everyone. thomas...he had lots of friends...

he was always up to mischief, that cheeky little train. he chugga-chugga-chuff chuffs everywhere, he was always playing games. the fat controller scolded him but loved him just the same...our favorite little engine, thomas was his name.

thomas the tank engine was always just rolling along. all of his friends were coming along too." here he choked out a sob and took a moment to compose himself. everyone was crying. the whole crew was here.

"thomas...we love you. thomas, we love you. thomas...we love you."

the end

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry


End file.
